“I'm Struggling To Help My Kids Use Their Words Instead of Tattling About Everything”... TRY THIS!

Isn't it SO FRUSTRATING when your kids are tattling constantly??

Wait, first -- PLEASE tell me—You're not one of those teachers who teaches your kids: only come to me if it's "an emergency."And teaches them some catchy alliteration to remember what an emergency is:

"BLOOD, BARF, BATHROOM?" OR IS IT "FIRE, FECES, FREAKIN'-OUT?"

If that IS you, you don't have to admit anything!... QUICK, just keep reading... we'll get you back on track…I mean, come on, that doesn't help the tattle problem...

Do you know why? actually, let me ask this one first...

Do you know why kids tattle?

It's because...they don't know what else to do.

It's the truth. Let that sink in.

They come tell you what's going on, because they don't know what else to do.

When you look at it like that, you feel a little differently, right?

Ok, good.

It's important that we have adjusted our thinking - from being annoyed (because yes, tattling is annoying) to understanding WHY it happens so, in our mind, we've got the kids back ON OUR SIDE not working against us.

(MINDSET IS SO IMPORTANT when dealing with behaviors.)

Now, let's tackle this ...

All we need to do is...Teach them what to do.

FIRST THING TO TEACH:

PHRASES—Give them the words they need to handle the situation on their own!

A good one to start with is:"Can I use that when you're done?"

How will you know you've taught it EFFECTIVELY?

>>>Kids will be able to USE IT INDEPENDENTLY during play.

Um, hello?! That's a big ask.

I know, I know...I'll show you how... keep reading...

How Do I Do That?

You model it first.

They all get to practice saying it.

Then, they all get to model it.

Make it fun and give every child a chance to model it... I call two kids up and we have ONE toy. One kid will pick it up and the other will rehearse the saying, "Can I use that when you're done?" (Then, they switch roles.)

AND, HERE'S THE THING: The ANSWER from the other kid IS ALWAYS, "Yes!"

(YES, meaning they can have it when the child is done. NOT meaning they have to give it up right away.)

***There's a positive vibe that goes out when the kid that's patiently asking for a turn - hears a "yes"... it helps them feel acknowledged and makes it easier to wait, knowing that "yes" the toy is coming!

This might sound too simple... Are you a little skeptical?

That's OK... because you'll see...

That it doesn't have to be complicated.

In fact, the real truth is -- the simpler the better.

SO STINKIN SIMPLE, it'll work like a charm

*Just be sure to use these last tips...

MAKE SURE THEY UNDERSTAND THE WHY

• You will have to TELL THEM WHY it's important...BE EXPLICIT. PAINT THEM A PICTURE. (So that everyone gets to play, because we all want a turn with the toys!)

• They are young enough that it's difficult for them to think about another child's feelings... we have to make it a point to explain WHY we don't grab toys... and why we have to take turns!

LAST TIPS

You have to be sure to get ALL of your kids on board with the "Can I Have It When You're Done" Method.

• Put in the time to let them all take ownership of the phrase...You need every kid to feel confident in using it AND responding with that SUPER IMPORTANT, "YES!"

• BONUS TIP: Expedite this process by giving a few kids a special job each day as you're practicing the phrases... during centers (or whenever they are expected to use this phrase), send a few kids out with stickers and tell them to put stickers on the shirt of anyone they hear saying the magical phrase!

• Make it a whole class goal... make them all WANT to master this strategy!

LAST TIPS

Talk to your kids about waiting --

• What does it look like when you're waiting for your turn?

• I tell my kids, "You can just keep playing with whatever you're playing with and when they are done, they will come give it to you! WOW! Isn't that neat?"

• I even dare you to go so far as to talk about the word, PATIENT... what does it look like when you wait patiently? (Your body is calm, your hands are to yourself, you can even smile.)

• Let them practice and model what it looks like to be patient...

  • I usually stick to modeling the behaviors I want to see, and not the ones I don't want to see...because, well I don't want them to do those and even just talking about them, can make some kids do them automatically.

  • BUT, if you think it will help, you could show them the opposite - show them impatient, waving arms, pacing, huffing, puffing, grabbing.